


Castiel and Dean's Realisations

by JoyHeart



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Romance, Season/Series 05, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-27
Updated: 2010-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-04 18:41:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyHeart/pseuds/JoyHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While in his motel room, Dean has a dream that confirms for him something fan girls have known for quite some time now.</p><p>On a beach across the country, Castiel realises the same thing.</p><p>Naturally, sexiness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castiel and Dean's Realisations

**Author's Note:**

> This was previously posted under my account on Fanfiction.net where it can still be found with my other works... though only one other was a supernatural fanfic and that will be posted on here soon enough. This particular work I wrote while season 5 was still being made.

Dean lay on the hotel bed feeling depressed, but not sure why. Sam was out getting Burger King for dinner. Dean felt like the road divider lines were burned into his retinas, so he didn't feel up to the short drive around the block for food.

The older Winchester meant close his eyes only for a moment, but found himself asleep anyway. As he slept, his body began to shake. He was reliving it again, his forty years in Hell. Forty years of tortures impossible to describe; although this night his relived torture stemmed not from what was impossible to describe, but from what he didn't want to describe- especially to Sam.

In Hell Alistair was his mentor in torture, but he was more than that. Dean didn't like thinking about it while he was conscious, preferring to suppress the events in Alistair's corner of Hell that occurred when the torturing was done for the day. Those long nights where sleep was impossible and Alistair was never satisfied. He kept coming again and again, until Dean would scream out his name and claw at the bed sheets in revulsion and terror mixed with pain- so much pain.

For 10 of those 40 years he lived as Alistair's personal slave to do with as the demon wished, but this alone was not what made Dean so disgusted. What was worse was that sometimes he felt that he almost liked what Alistair did to him, and what he made him do. Obviously, Alistair being a demon made Dean horrified - Dean wasn't like Sam, banging monsters left and right. He wouldn't bang a demon willingly whether they were a dude or a chick. But the whole act of having intercourse with another male didn't seem to be as bad as he would've thought.

On this night though, he was not reliving those almost pleasurable sex sessions. This memory was one of the first ones, where he felt as if he was being ripped open from the inside and Alastor screamed laughter and insults until his ears rang with them and his flesh crawled. In the hotel room, Dean's shaking body broke into a sweat as he twitched and moaned.

A state away in California, Castiel stood on a beach somewhere along the west coast. He was gazing out across the Pacific Ocean, his eyes wearing a glazed look. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something. He was turning Dean's necklace over in his hands. So far, it hadn't burned hot once- or even warmed up for that matter. God seemed to be millions of miles away, but even that wasn't what Castiel's thoughts dwelt on. What he was thinking aboutwas Dean.

Why was he now out of heaven's ranks? Dean. Why had he developed emotions? Dean. Dean Dean Dean. It all came back to the Hunter. His sincere eyes, his take-no-shit and kick-some-ass attitude. His sense of humour, and his devotion to his family. All these things had been so tempting, so inescapable, so beautiful in this one person. Castiel could not help but be drawn into this web of corruption. Now he was cut off from his angel brothers, and his powers were slowly fading, but he didn't regret it at all. This was probably the most disconcerting thing.

It was these thoughts the angel pondered as he fingered Dean's necklace and wondered if he should call the man and find out where he was right now.

The dream had faded, and Dean's body relaxed. A new dream began and this one much less violent. He now dreamt of the first woman he had been with since his forty years, Anna. Who, he would remind himself, was an angel and maybe didn't count as a real woman at all. Not that it mattered. He knew it had been wonderful, as he was reliving now. She had been perfect, and had seemed to pour pure joy into him with each thrust he made. It was ecstasy. But now, in his dream, he wore a confused look. Because it had just occurred to him that this wasn't perfect; that something was missing. Something he needed desperately.

Castiel remembered what Yuriel had said to him before he had been killed. He had said it was obvious that Castiel had liked Dean. Castiel supposed that this fact was rather obvious. He had clearly joined Dean's side in this war, but he couldn't help but feel that Yuriel had meant something more when he said 'like'. What more he could have meant, the innocent angel did not know.

An angel was perfection, but with Anna Dean felt as if he was missing something he may have learned to like in Hell. Suddenly, a brief moment of dream comprehension dawned and in an instant Dream Anna was replaced by a man with black hair, light blue searching eyes and a trench coat splayed open around his naked form. As Dean in his dream gazed on this beautiful vision his body on the hotel bed began to sweat again, but this time not out of fear. His pants seemed to bulge in the front as well and his breath became laboured. Unfortunately, just as he was about to lean in on Dream Cas and express his newfound feelings with lips and tongue, his eyes snapped open. He sat up in bed with his forehead shining. He groaned and rubbed his face, his mind blank for a moment. Then bits and pieces of his nap's dreaming came back to him. Slowly, his hands slid down from his wide and staring eyes, though they still covered his nose and mouth.

"Naw," Dean shook his head, and looked down. To his horror he discovered his bulge had not vanished yet. Thank God Sam wasn't back yet. Where was he anyway? Dean checked the clock and saw that only five minutes had passed since his brother had left. Damn dream time. A minute could be a year.

Or a few months could be forty years.

Dean shivered.

Castiel looked up at the grey sky that was turning pink in the sunset. He didn't see it though. What he saw were Dean's green eyes looking into his, full of that irresistible human emotion.

Castiel shivered, though not in cold. He could not feel cold, but he could feel other things now. Thanks to Dean.

"Oh God, don't tell me I'm gay now. Don't tell me that. I'm not- being gay is a sin isn't it? I'm supposed to be an angel's vessel, so how could I be gay? I mean I know angels are pansies but COME ON!" Dean had stood up now and was pacing, waiting for his boner to relax. It seemed though that whenever it showed signs of doing just that Castiel's form from the dream would flare up behind Dean's eyes and his little hunter would stand at full attention once again.

"Seriously! And if I'm going gay for a guy, why does it have to be Cas? I mean he's just... well okay so maybe he's a good looking guy and maybe- maybe he's comfortable to be around, or to mess with, and maybe he seems to get me more than even Sam sometimes... but that doesn't mean- NO! NO OKAY? I refuse! I REFUSE!" Dean hollered to the ceiling.

Castiel froze. It had finally dawned on him. Finally it all made sense. Why he couldn't stop thinking about him. Why he had given everything up for him. Why he would do anything in his power to help him.

He, Castiel, was in love with Dean Winchester.

"... God forgive me," Castiel murmured into the sand at his feet, unable to say anything more. Of course, God's forgiveness was not enough in this case. God does not just want people and angels to ask forgiveness of him, but also from those whom we truly need forgiveness from. If Castiel was against heaven now, he was not against God. He would have to phone Dean to tell him, to ask forgiveness of this sin of loving him as more than whatever they were to each other. Friends. Friends he supposed, but no more.

Castiel took out his cell phone and dialled Dean's number.

"I AM NOT-" Dean started screaming again when his phone rang and he stopped dead. He stared at it on the dresser table where his cell phone lay. Though his legs felt like lead he slowly moved towards it, took it up, and flipped it open. He recognised the caller ID "... Cas?"

"Hello Dean," Castiel said, his voice shaking very slightly on the other end. Dean felt a surge of concern come over him.

"Cas, are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked hastily as his feeling returning to his limbs.

"Where are you? Is Sam around? I-I need to talk to you alone."

"I'm at the Sunset Garden Motel in Oregon, room 27 B. Sam's at Burger King," Dean reeled off, numb feeling returning as fast as it had left. The phone went dead and he turned as if feeling a presence enter the room.

"Dean," Castiel breathed, looking flushed. Dean blinked, unsure what this could mean. Castiel looked almost... desperate. Something was seriously wrong. He knew it.

"Cas, what's up? Something is wrong; just tell me already so me and Sam can go fix it okay?" Dean said, perhaps a little harshly, but he was freaked out. He was nearly white in the face.

Castiel closed his eyes to collect himself before saying what he had to, "I'm here to ask for your forgiveness."

Dean's whole body seemed to slump and he gave a disbelieving look. "Forgiveness? For what? Shouldn't you be asking God for that or something?"

"Yes. And I have," Castiel said sharply, but his expression quickly softened, "But I must ask for yours too because... because I think... I think I'm in love with you," he said the last part with a blush, eyes fallen to Dean's shoes so as not to see the Hunter's mouth drop open in shock.

"You-" Dean stopped, his voice not seeming to work correctly, so he swallowed and glared. "Have you been looking at my dreams or something?"

Castiel jumped at this angry retort, "No, of course I haven't! Why would-?"

"I-" Dean tried to interrupt, but fell short of words again. But at Castiel's innocently perplexed expression, Dean had no mind for such things as words. It was just too cute.

"So I have come to ask forgiveness. I know you probably did not want to hear this but-"

"Aw shit Cas!" Dean shook his head and acted on the raging impulse of his other brain. He flung himself at the angel and locked him in a needful embrace, slamming his chapped lips against Castiel's smooth ones, and found them moving together in perfect sync. It was as if they were always meant to be touching, like two interlocking puzzle pieces. They soon pulled back though when they realised what they had just taken part in. Both men's eyes were in shock as they stared at each other, Dean's hands still on Castiel's shoulders. They were both breathing hard as well.

Castiel was the first to speak again, but only in a soft whisper, "Forgive me..."

Dean laughed a little, hoarsely, "W-why the hell should I forgive you for that? I did that to you right?"

"I know," Castiel said with a small smile, "I was asking God to forgive me... for what I'm about to do," he launched himself across the small space back at Dean, their lips reuniting. Dean had done this again and again with girls, but it had never felt like this. It had never felt as if every drop of saliva exchanged was charged with a million solar flares from a place a hundred times brighter than the sun. With Castiel there wasn't that strange feeling of missing something that he had with Anna. This was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Castiel had only just begun to feel. This was beyond anything, anything he'd ever known emotions to be. He had thought he loved God and Dean before, but now those feelings had reached limits that he did not believe anyone had topped. His heart pounded and every nerve in his host's body (now his own, he reminded himself as the host had long since died) yearned to be touched and to touch, in every possible way. How could he refuse such feelings when he felt nearly torn apart by them, when he had never experienced them before?

The angel's hands flew up underneath Dean's shirt and roamed his chest with a fevering curiosity to know every inch of it. When his hands had taken in all they could he broke apart from Dean and pulled the shirt over his head so his eyes could drink in the sight like sweet honey and nectar.

Dean saw passion burning in Castiel's eyes as they pulled their mouths away from each other, but this wasn't just passion- it was lust. Not the kind from the demon but the kind born of love and passion. He had never seen Castiel's eyes like that before but judging by the size of his erection, he liked it. He actually managed to smile genuinely.

"Okay, maybe I'm gay then. I don't give a crap. I'm the most badass motherfucking faggot ever then," Dean snorted and then dove at Castiel, tearing back his trench coat from his shoulders and proceeding to remove the angel's shirt. A flurry of movement and stumbling from both sets of hands rid the two of their lower garments until both stood naked in the hotel room, waiting as if for a sign from God to begin.

It came as shout from outside, somewhere that seemed a billion miles from this room they were finally alone in. A young boy yelled, "Hurry up damn it!"

That was enough. Hunter and angel attacked each other with kisses, caresses, licks, feeling, rubbing. Dean's hands pressed to the back of Castiel's head as their tongues intertwined and they fell onto Dean's bed. Castiel ran his hand down, not having time to marvel at his own risen manhood before his fingers encircled Dean's and held it, running his fingers over the tip.

"Oh God Cas..." Dean hissed into the angel's mouth, tightening his grip on the other man's hip. He paused though, and drew back. "Wait a sec, wait a sec, are you a bottom or a top? Because I swear I've been a bottom way more than I can take, and there's no way-"

"Dean, could you please be quiet," Castiel groaned, linking his lips with Dean's again for a moment before muttering, "I really could care less. I didn't expect you to be submissive, you never are."

Dean seemed to almost giggle, "And you fucking love it don't you?"

"I do," Castiel said quite seriously. Dean sobered, and shrugged.

"Okay," he replied, but gave a smirk and rolled him and Castiel over so he was on top. "Wait here," he said and got off, quickly heading to the bathroom. Castiel's eyes went wide, but he remained where Dean had put him, he felt he had to trust him. Dean came quickly back, slathering something on his penis "It's uh, its baby oil," Dean said to Castiel's questioning expression, "Well you don't want me to dry jam you, do you?"

Castiel looked a little horrified and glanced away, not trusting himself to reply. Dean sighed and went carefully over to the angel, working his hand beneath Cas' beautiful head.

"I just don't want to hurt you, okay?" he whispered. Castiel felt his heart flutter as his eyes turned to meet Dean's. He nodded, and his nod was returned as Dean worked his legs apart and pulled them up around himself. "This still might, you know, hurt. Hell, it definitely did for me."

Castiel might have questioned that statement from Dean if the hunter hadn't just pushed himself up inside of the angel. Instead, he let out a shriek and writhed beneath Dean as he masterfully worked his penis around inside the channel. Years of experience were why Dean was so good at this of course but that did not explain why Dean, who was coupled with a complete virgin, felt as if heaven had opened its gates to him. It was as if God was shining his grace, as if pure happiness was being flung out from every pore on both their bodies so much as to fill the world with it. Dean's hand groped out and gripped Castiel's little angel as if it were his life support while Castiel's hand reached out to grasp Dean's wrist. It so happened that both screamed out together as they exploded, shooting out lifetimes worth of pain and despair to leave only the radiant glow the world seems to take on after one has truly made love.

Dean drew himself out and looked down at Castiel; the angel stared up at him. They both shared a small, nearly secretive smile. Castiel sat up. Then he looked over Dean's shoulder. He's eyes flew wide open again.

"What?" Dean turned, and froze too. Sam was standing stock still. The door was slightly open behind him as if he'd only gotten it part way closed before seeing his brother. He looked traumatized; the Burger King bag was clutched in a very white fist. Dean went to walk towards Sam when realised he was still naked. "Oh shit," he grabbed his pants up off the floor and started jamming his legs into the while Castiel dove for his trench coat, wrapping it quickly around himself.

"D-D-Dean?" Sam stammered, looking as if he was going to throw up. His face was green anyway.

"Sammy I- well-" Dean tried to think of an explanation. There wasn't one. "I-It's going to be okay...?"

"I think I'm going to sit in the bathroom and hit my head against the wall until I fall unconscious so I can pretend this was all a horrible nightmare. Don't come looking for me," Sam said in an unstable voice as he shuffled to the bathroom and closed the door. Dean went to the front door and shut that too, locking it. He turned to Castiel.

"He seems to be taking it well," Dean said with an awkward laugh.

"Perhaps I should go," Castiel said with a frown, looking at the rest of his clothing on the floor.

"Erm... yeah probably. Here," Dean scooped up Cas' clothes and gave them to him. He also added casually, "If you're ever up for it again though, I think I could make room on my schedule. Maybe find a way to keep Sammy occupied a little longer next time..."

Castiel blushed furiously, "Oh, uh... yeah. Sure... maybe..." he trailed off for a moment before stumbling out with his next words, "Well, I do... love you."

"You know what Cas?" Dean sighed in some inner defeat with an exhausted smile, "I think I might love you too. Corny as that sounds."

Castiel returned to the beach he was on before, and he had never felt more jubilant in his life.

THE END

EPILOGUE

In Oregon, a young boy sighed and leaned against a tree. He smirked knowingly at the motel room door.

"It figures that Cas would be so caught up in Dean that he didn't even notice that necklace burning white hot in his coat pocket... oh well. At least they're finally starting to follow my grand design."

The boy chuckled, and faded from sight.


End file.
